Holiday Connection: How Co-Regulation Helps Children Handle Big Feelings
During the winter season, emotions can run high — joy, anticipation, overwhelm, fatigue, excitement, and nerves all show up at once. For many children, especially those with sensory processing challenges, issues with self-regulation, or difficulty with emotional regulatio,n these big feelings can feel too big to manage alone.
At The Village Therapy Place, we believe in the power of co-regulation — the process of helping children feel safe and calm through warm, connected interactions with their caregivers.
During busy seasons, co-regulation is one of the most meaningful gifts you can offer your child.
What Is Co-Regulation?
Co-regulation means:
Your regulated nervous system helps calm your child’s dysregulated one.
Children learn how to regulate through:
Your tone of voice
Your facial expressions
Your pace and breathing
Your presence
Your willingness to stay close
When children feel safe, they can return to center.
Seeing Behavior Through a Nervous-System Lens
When your child:
Melts down
Clings
Withdraws
Acts impulsively
Becomes very hyper
Refuses transitions
…it often means:
“My nervous system is overwhelmed. I need help.”
Understanding behaviors this way invites compassion instead of frustration.
Co-Regulation Tools You Can Use This Season
✨ 1. Slow Yourself First
Your calm becomes their calm.
Try:
Take a slow breath
Kneel to their eye level
Speak softly and slowly
✨ 2. Use Warm, Simple Phrases
We often recommend phrases that communicate safety:
“You’re not in trouble. I’m here.”
“Your body feels overwhelmed. We’ll figure it out together.”
“You can take a break with me anytime.”
“Let’s slow everything down.”
✨ 3. Offer Sensory Comfort
Pair emotional support with sensory support:
A hug or firm pressure
Sitting back-to-back
Rocking slowly
Wrapping in a blanket
Hand squeezes
A warm drink
✨ 4. Narrate Their Experience Gently
This helps children learn body awareness.
“Your body feels buzzy.”
“That sound was too loud.”
“There were a lot of people.”
Naming the sensation decreases its intensity.
✨ 5. Reconnect After the Storm
Reflect and process
What helped you? What didn’t?This allows both of you to learn and plan for success in the future.
Validate need for support
Reinforce that their feelings are valid, that it’s okay to have needed support. This builds trust and internal safety.Praise their efforts
Try:
“Your body had a hard time, but you got through it. You should feel so proud of yourself."
You and Your Child Are a Team
Co-regulation strengthens trust, emotional resilience, and bonding.
It is about connection. Not perfection.
